Current mood:	contemplative
Current music:	My iPod, with Eric Dolphy, Prince, Gustav Mahler, DJ Shadow, Schnittke

2008
Ok, 31 December 2008, time for my overview of the year.

2008 was quite an emotional year. A lot of things happened, and not all good. However, at the moment I feel calm, relaxed and quite positive.

As this posting is very long, I made a cut, after which the story can be read.




January

Working very hard on an application for the POW Ensemble for the renewal of our 4 year grant. The grant will secure the ensemble's future for the next 4 years.
I think we have done quite well, we wrote a good application and are hopeful for a good result.
Adri make a brief visit to Nigeria for her work.

February

One of the problems this year was that there were not enough concerts. Quite a few concerts fell through, due to bad luck. Like a tour planned to Russia, with concerts in St. Petersburg and Moskow. Together with the uncertainty of the grant outcome, it makes both Adri and me feeling a little insecure. Also Adri went to the doctor, there is a high risk for heart and blood disease in her family, and since we are getting a little older now it's good to take a little more care of our health. Adri gets medicines to lower her cholesterol and to make her blood thinner. Also Adri and I take a diet, to loose the fat we gained in the past 20 years.

March

At last, we are doing some concerts again! We do a nice concert in Paradox, Tilburg, and then head to South Africa, Cape Town and Stellenbosch.
For me it's nice to be back in the Cape Province again, despite that this part of SA has really changed in the last years, and has become much more touristic. I think the other musicians are struggling quite a bit with the complexity of the country. See my March entrees in my LJ for more.


Guy, Arjen, Luc, Micha, Han in Stellenbosch

April

18 April is the premiere of our Ensemble in Residence at the conservatory in Den Haag. Out of six works, two pieces are quite good, one piece is sympathetic, and three are just plain rubbish. Overall, not a bad score, and we decide to ask both Chad Langford and Tomo Hashimoto to revise their pieces for the concerts we will do with this line up in 2009.
Another concert takes place on 24 April in Alkmaar. For the first time we play with Wolter Wierbos, who has taken over the trombone chair from Joseph Bowie.
Our boyfriend Fred Bos' his birthday became a nice party in Houten, with a visit to the sauna, and a nice night of erotic excitement!

May

A quiet month, with a tour to Sweden. I do concerts in Stockholm, Umea, and Götenborg in a trio with Andreas Axelsson and Nina de Heney. Adri and I have both lost about 8 kilo's at this point.


Stockholm, taken from Fylkingen's doorstep.

Also, the POW Ensemble does a concert at a jazz festival in Groningen.

June

Life is becoming increasingly stressful. Adri and I feel the pressure of not getting enough concerts this year, Also we are very nervous about our grant application. In mid June we have a working week at STEIM, with composers Alwynne Pritchard, Gabriel Prokovief and David Fenech, as preparation for the new program.
On 18 June we are shocked by the death of Michel Waisvisz, director of STEIM, and one of my oldest friends in music.
On 23 June, the most shocking thing of this year happens. At 6 am, Adri gets a small brain stroke. We immediately transport her to the hospital with an ambulance. We are both very worried, but luckily she recovers completely. But it's clear that we have to create less stress around our lives. We go very basic, just investing a lot of love in each other.
Despite the circumstances, the POW Ensemble plays a great concert at the Amsterdam BIMhuis, that will be released at the beginning of next year on X-OR Records.

About the only other positive news is that we both have lost 10-12 kilo's by now!


Adri in the emergency room, just after the stroke. The note says: Patient is ready!

July

1 July, another sad moment. Our 4 year grant application is turned down by the NFPK! Soon it becomes clear that is a whole slaughterhouse. Many ensembles are turned down. Together with Adri's health problems it makes us both very depressed. See for more my LJ postings for July. We decide to go on holiday to Spain, but since Adri is not alowed to fly, we take the train over Perpignan, into Catalunya. It makes us finding ourselves back a little, especially when we stayed around Mont Blanc.

August

Back from Spain, the depression comes back fairly soon. We try to cure it by making plans about how to overcome the situation. We start our own protest blog, we talk about collective action with other ensembles who are turned down, and meet with the Union of Dutch Ensembles about what we can do together. There will be another grant possibility with the NFPK later in the year, for a 2 year project grant. Also we are looking for other possibilities for sponsoring.

September

In Amsterdam there is a debate between the Dutch ensemble and the NFPK director and the advice committee. Realizing the brutality of it all, it make me very depressed again. I decide to see my doctor, who gives me a mild antidepressant drug, citalopram. I respond very well to the drug, and after a short, lethargic period, I start taking up work with new energy.
On 20 September, we celebrate both International Bisexuality Day, and Adri's birthday, with an excellent party at our house!

October

We play two concerts in Den Haag. One concert is at Festival in de Branding, a large new music festival. It's the first concert with cellist Jacqueline Hamelink, who temporarily replaces Nina Hitz, who is on pregnancy leave.
The other concert is a special project at a small loft in Den Haag, build around singer Jannie Pranger. She collaborates so well with the ensemble that we decide to build a new project around her.
Adri, Han Buhrs and me start working on a new application, this time for the 2 year grant possibility.

November

This month we are mainly writing the grant application. Since the format is so completely different as the 4 year grant, we have to start all over, and can only use snippets of the old text. We get a lot of help, especially from band member Han Buhrs, our chairman Pim Hiemstra, and Pascal van der Maas, director of the gay organization COC, who is an expert on marketing. We have good hopes.
Furthermore, we are working on the new project with Wiek Hijmans and Guy Harries. Also the agenda for 2009 fills up well, with about 15 concerts so far with that program. Thanks to the amiable Piet Hein van der Poel of Cantus Music we will do a tour to Indonesia. Also planned are a series of concerts in Holland (premiere at the Gaudeamus performers week), and a tour to Norway.
In November we also do three more concerts with the POW Ensemble.

December

Despite the hard work, Adri and I feel less stressful this time, with writing the application. We have gained back the believe in ourselves, with or without the grant, the POW Ensemble will survive. On December 4 is my birthday, which we celebrate with a concert at STEIM, Amsterdam. Then I head to Cologne, to do a concert with trombonist Paul Hubweber.
In the 2nd part of December, I finally have a little time to relax, and investing time in my friends and relationships.


To finish this, one bad and one good thing that I forgot to mention above.

Death

Besides the death of Michel Waisvisz, too many other people in our surrounding (friends, family) are incurably ill. So we expect at least four people not to make it by the end of 2009. That is very sad, but seems to be a reality, when one gets older. It makes clear how important it is to enjoy life. I know it's a cliche, but that doesn't make it less true!

Friends

On the other hand, we have build up new, promising friendships with quite a lot of new people. Two I like to mention. Piet Hein van de Poel, former Dutch radio producer, is an eminent personality. Someone with an energy that has a stimulating effect on everyone around him! And the second one is Pascal van der Maas. Former COC-director is a special person, he recently started to mean a lot for me and Adri. His personality is a great combination of social consciousness, intelligence, liberalism and warmth with a subtle hint of arrogance and idleness, that makes him even more interesting!
Both people inspire me a lot at the moment!


I wish everybody a great and healthy 2009!


Me, playing in Cologne, while getting a EEG brainscan...